The Aftershock

If you’re the praying type, my ask in this current moment would be prayers for Caroline specifically. There’s a lot of confusion for her about where Hudson is. Having a big brother one day and being gone the next.

She talks about him constantly. His favorites shows, colors, and animals. I hope she never stops. Recently she’s been telling us, “ I want Hudson come back.” “I want him hold my hand and make me laugh and get my breakfast.” “I want him sit in him seat!” (In the car beside her.) Just today she had a baby dinosaur that she wanted to show him “when he comes back.” After putting her to bed every single night, she calls me back in her room to ask and assure herself that Hudson is in her heart.

There is no manual for parenthood and there sure as heck isn’t a manual to navigate this. She is so incredibly confused and we just want to guide her as best we can. I know having divorced parents definitely impacted both Denver and myself growing up so much and I’m incredibly concerned about what losing a sibling (tragically, at that) means for Caroline. She is the sweetest (and sassiest!) soul and smart beyond belief. She’s beginning to remember terrifying details of that day. I just want to protect my sweet baby girl as best I can. Although we know we have to start being very frank with her about where Hudson is and the fact that he’s not coming back.

This certainly feels like the after shock, as she tries to navigate what this means for her. We are coping as best we can and trying to power through, day by day. But I will tell you, this has been the hardest week by far in quite a few months. (Amongst some really other hard things going on, for my family specifically.)

If you’ll keep Caroline in your prayers, we’d appreciate it more than you know. ❤️