September 2023

It’s been a while. Life gets busy and time for writing here is slim to none most days. But there are so many thoughts on my heart this week.

I’ll first start by sharing a conversation Denver and I had last weekend. We were talking about how God is always with us through the hardest times and will never leave us. But what if it is the hardest of the hardest? Losing your son at 5 years old. The ultimate heartbreak. Who had a beautiful life ahead of him. That just feels exponentially harder than the “hard” in most people’s life. Losing your job or your home or your pet can certainly be devastating, but all those things are replaceable. There is nothing replaceable about a child. Especially that sweet child who loved everyone he met.

I just feel that we’ve tried to do everything right.. Work hard, raise our kids to love Jesus, be kind to everyone we meet, just be good people.. But this life took one of the two people who means most to us in this world. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.. Thank gosh for sweet (sassy) Caroline.

Fast forward to this week. Denver’s sister, Maria, was scheduled to deliver her baby today. Everything has been going well and man, we have prayed for that for her. Healthy, happy baby boy and safe delivery for her. Life once again didn’t go as we’d hoped or planned. She lost her sweet boy this week. Most of you are probably aware of that and the details are not mine to share.

So now I sit back and think.. How much can a family take? It seems like this family has suffered more than others. She lost a little boy a few years ago as well. No one should bury one child, let alone two. No grandparent should bury one grandchild, let alone three at this point. The highs in this life are high, but man the lows have been LOW.

I know that everyone has their struggles in life and I will never discount anyone’s battles, but burying children continuously ranks pretty high up there with the hardest things we have to do.

I would please ask for your prayers if you’re the praying type. Shoot I’ll ask for your good vibes or wishes or anything at this point. God willing Denver and I hope to have a healthy baby girl in November, but again, God willing. I feel like you never know what the plan is for your life. We learned that all too clearly on a sunny Saturday in May two years ago, just as we never could have anticipated this type of outcome for Maria and her family. I can’t let myself put too much weight on the permanence of this world.