Plan B by Pete Wilson

It's been a while! Life has kept us busy with all the "normal" things. Work has been busy for both Denver and I, along with chasing around a 2 year old and all that comes with that. But I couldn't read this book and NOT respond.

One of my sweet friends sent me the book Plan B by Pete Wilson. This is the worst Plan B I can ever imagine. I tell you this not for pity, but this is just the truth and keep reading that there can be hope. I don't know that I believe that yet, but hope that someday I will have that hope. I know I will have to surrender my plans in order to receive God's plan.

I had the opportunity to finish the book last week. Wow, just wow. He made so many good points throughout the book. If you ever have a friend going through a "Plan B" situation in their life, please buy them this book. (Or send me this address and I will personally send it to them.. That's how much I gained from it!) It was cool to hear from pastors that I've learned so much from over the years. (Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Francis Chan)

I spoke with a pastor's wife a few weeks ago. I told her that it was SO easy to go to church when things were great. It's much harder to go now, but what other choice do we have? Crazy that I felt comfortable enough saying that to a pastor's wife, but it is true. Now that being said, I adore Crossroads Church and they have loved us SO well during this journey. (Don't get me wrong there!) And yes we went to Southside Church for years and I will share why we switched at some point in this blog journey.

Another friend and I talked at length about the Saturday between the crucifixion and the resurrection. No one talks much about the Saturday. The waiting in between. God was not absent on that Saturday. Everything about that day was out of control. People were angry, upset, and confused. The disciples had hung all their hope on a man named Jesus. I had definitely hung all my hope on a life with my son, that's for sure.

The book talks about being so hopeless you can't do a thing. When learning of a loved ones death, so many "...would fall to the ground unable to speak, unable to cry, unable to really respond at all." Boy, does that resonate with me. This was my exact reaction. I could not fathom a life without Hudson, my first born. My perfect son. This is how Jesus' followers responded to his death as well. It felt like their ultimate Plan B and put them in a state of shock. I think I have walked around in a state of shock for approximately four months. Ya know what hurts more? When the shock wears off. I'm there. And it hurts.

Saturdays are a day of questioning, doubting, wondering, and definitely waiting. It's a day of helplessness and hopelessness. It goes on to talk about that Saturday may be God preparing to do his best work in us. "Here is the message of the gospel for while you're stuck in your helpless, hopeless Saturday life: God does his best work in hopeless situations."

If I am still on this earth, I can guarantee that I am going to make an impact that makes Hudson proud. I'm going to make the most of this hopeless situation. I will not let the Saturday be in vain.

I'd love to share a few quotes that really spoke to me after reading this book, keeping in mind I'm going through my worst nightmare.

• I've discovered that sometimes God wants us to live inside of the questions. Sometimes he wants us to linger in the waiting, hoping, praying. In fact, sometimes it's right in the middle of our darkness in the middle of our crisis, in the middle of our Plan B struggles that God speaks most clearly.

• We don't like God's glory plan, not it it involves our suffering. Not it if involves waiting for God and wondering if he's ever going to act. Not if involves Plan B.

• Everything we hope for will eventually disappoint us. Every circumstance, every situation, every relationship we put our hope in is going to wear out, give out, fall apart, melt down, or go away. That's the problem with hoping in something. That's why the only dependable hope is hope in Someone. The entirety of scripture points to one cross, one man, one God- not because he gives us everything we're hoping for but because he is the One in whom we put our hope.